


Sin

by filenotch



Series: Negotiate 2 [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 20:12:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filenotch/pseuds/filenotch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney pushes their silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sin

**Author's Note:**

> Follows Moonshine, which was a remix of [Beneath a Waning Moon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/116755) by [ZoeRayne](http://archiveofourown.org/works/116755).

John felt Rodney's fingers unthread from his hair and trace his jaw before moving down to re-adjust his trousers. He'd finally become accustomed to the fact that Rodney now would always reach backwards and hold John's head while he came. He liked the image that he could see only in his mind's eye, of Rodney on the balcony, stretching to reach back, open to the air, open to the sea that surrounded Atlantis. His arms held tight around Rodney's chest and waist. His left hand angled away to avoid staining Rodney's trousers.

He dropped his forehead to the shirt-covered ridge of spine where Rodney's neck met his shoulders, hips moving ever so slightly. He spent a moment debating whether to get himself off this way and deal with the mess later, or to open the buttons on his BDUs, but then Rodney surprised him by taking John's sticky hand by the wrist and bringing it to his mouth. John froze, hips forward, barely able to breath through the sensation of mouth, of tongue, cleaning off what had until now consigned to one of the handkerchiefs kept solely for that purpose.

He thought he might never be able to go back to eighteen inch cambric squares again.

John thought about the practical implications because if he let himself think at all about the actual sensations, he was going to come right then and there. Thinking about how he wasn't thinking about it was enough to let him, oh god, pay attention to the tongue across his palm and the feel of Rodney's warm, wet mouth sucking in his fingers.

His body pulled and curved, like a bowstring anchored to Rodney by hips and head, and he came hard.

Rodney held on to his arms, held him up while he found the muscles in his legs. As his ragged breathing slowed and he backed his hips from where they had tried to melt the fabric between them, John thought an old thought. What had he done to deserve this, to deserve the silent gift without judgment or demand?

But then Rodney took John's other wrist, loosed the hold and turned around with an expression John couldn't read in the dim light of the balcony. He tried to back away, but Rodney followed, still holding his wrists. This was not part of the script.

John tensed, fearful that Rodney would try to kiss him, but he only leaned forward and did one of those Athosian forehead moves. John could smell the distinct odor of semen on his breath, and his brain supplied the sneering, adolescent chant of "Penis breath!" He went rigid, his mind wiping out all but the most shameful traces of what had been the most erotic experience of his life.

Colonel John Sheppard and Doctor Rodney MacKay were not faggots. They weren't.

Rodney straightened and let go, holding up his hands briefly as if in surrender, as if he could hear John's thoughts.

John wanted to leave, but he couldn't turn his back.

Rodney crossed his arms and cocked his head, waiting, playing by the rules of silence John had set. He looked at John as if he were a trivial but annoying repair.

John felt fear, fear of facing whatever they weren't saying. It reached his face, and there was no way to hide it other than to try to flip it around into some sort of expression of, _I'm cool. What's your problem?_

Rodney's face went blank, and John realized he may have misread how Rodney had been looking at him. Maybe MacKay was looking for something from John that would - what? Solve a riddle? Provide more data? Take him up on the promise delivered by Rodney's mouth on his hand?

In the time it took for John to parse out these thoughts, Rodney was already walking past him, wearing his 'contempt for stupidity' expression. He stopped before he reached the arch leading back into the city and turned. John steeled himself for Rodney's blistering sarcasm, but he couldn't look up.

But no. Rodney played by the rules, and said nothing before turning on his heel and stalking off.

John leaned back and scrubbed his face, knowing that he'd blown it. Rodney had presented him with an opportunity he didn't want, or didn't know he wanted and didn't want to want, and he wasn't ready for it. Of course he'd blown it.

The next night, he waited on the balcony alone. It gave him a lot of time to think about what he wanted, about what he was. The two nights following, he brought a chair and a laptop, and worked late into the night, not thinking about what he wanted or who he was. Once he thought he heard footsteps, but there was no one there.

**Author's Note:**

> Sin is the Sumerian god of the moon. He is one of very few male lunar deities.
> 
> In the next story, John and Rodney go on a mission that goes very, very badly, and Rodney gives John an ultimatum.


End file.
